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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

A time to mourn...


While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet (her) behind the veil. 
John Taylor 

Sometimes in a family, a season of mourning comes upon us.  It can come expectedly or unexpectedly but it always feels as if the world has temporarily stopped turning.  We are in that season now. 

The grief comes in starts and stops and we sometimes panic that we can't remember the sound of the voice of our loved one or think we see them across the aisle in a public place.  Sometimes, we dream of them and for a few sweet moments when we awake, we forget what has happened. Or we pick up the phone to call...

And then there are all the people...and the cards and flowers and food...all needing attention.  The scramble for clothing appropriate for the funeral service comes right when we least feel like it...do the childrens' dress shoes even still fit them?  

The tears come profusely and unexpectedly or feel like they will never stop.  The intensity of emotion overwhelms.  Sleep won't come...how can everyone else be going about the normal tasks of the day when the world has turned upside down? 

Everything is disorienting...and it is a time when caring for yourself and those you love become of the utmost importance.  Some ways to gently care for yourself can be: 

  • Get outside in the fresh air and sunshine and just be.  Sit quietly and breathe, let tears come, feel the sunshine upon your face
  • Wrap yourself in the warmth of a soft blanket - really wrap up and hug yourself
  • Listen to music that matches your mood and let the memories bubble up 
  • Take a quiet walk in a natural setting - surround yourself with nature - a place with trees and the natural sounds that come from birds and water and wind
The coming days will have low points and even high points too when you share a memory of your loved one with someone else.  Be patient. The coming year will bring special days and holidays that will be different than in the past.  Make new memories with those around you and honor the past traditions of your family too.

There is an old Irish saying:  Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

We know that though we miss the one who has died, there are others in Heaven rejoicing that she is there.  

Peace be with you, 

Star Schipp

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for a wonderful post. I remember getting so angry with people who went to work or the grocery store or to the movies the days following my mother's death. How could they go one with their lives? Didn't they know what horrible injustice had just happened? Your advice for self care is so often overlooked. One other piece. Never stop talking to God; even if you are angry at Him. Go ahead and yell, but don't stop talking. My prayers are with all those who have lost a loved one. Know one day you will be comforted and reunited.

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